Living with my partner in Germany while he does some sciencey magic and I write about life.
Truth time. I am a lazy person. This is my way of trying to fix that.
I’m a lazy writer, lazy climber and lazy yogi hoping to print my name on various little, lazy corners of the web.
This blog exists so I can hold myself accountable, force myself to be the best version of myself, even when I really don’t want to.
So here you will find my honestly lazy writings on topics such as climbing, books, yoga and how annoyingly complicated the mind is.
If you would like to collaborate with me, feel free to get in touch via my contact page.
If you want to know more about me…
Here’s my story from the beginning.
I’ve spent various chunks of my childhood and teenage years in three countries. I started off as a love child in Amsterdam where my dad was working at KLM airport and my mam was working in a hotel, they met in a pub. That’s where I spent the first six years of my life.
Then my mam felt the call of home and so we packed up and moved to Ireland where my dad started driving trucks in Ireland and the rest of Europe, sometimes for weeks. Nine years I spent in Ireland, going through my primary school days as a shy and awkward child, I remember feeling like an outcast because of my strange accent and funny habits.
When I was fifteen, my dad wanted to move back to his old home, the UK, where he spent his childhood before leaving school and going off on his adventures at sixteen years old (I guess the traveling bug, voluntary or otherwise, is hereditary). So my life shifted once again and I had to assimilate into a new school and culture. It was a little harder that second time, as I had already had a group where I belonged and suddenly had to integrate myself into established groups in year 10 of high school. My grades suffered that year, but I pulled myself together in my last year of high school and came out with acceptable grades.
College is the time when you decide what you want to do with your life. Your university, your course, your degree, job, security, so on and so forth. At the time, I remember everyone around me lamenting about how hard it is to decide, that they didn’t know what to do. But I look at them now, after graduating and securing jobs and accomplishing gaols and I think, “You really did know after all, didn’t you?” because I gave university a shot, I really really did. But it didn’t work out. At that point I was mature enough to understand that I wasn’t happy in academia, but I couldn’t leave either. “This is what people do”, I thought. “This is how I sort my life out”, I had to believe. However I didn’t, couldn’t, believe that, so I left university after my first year.
In today’s world, it is common for people to go through almost every stage of the education system before being put out into the world. Studying and getting the qualifications needed to get the job or research position they wanted. But for me, I felt as if I had nothing to study for, to strive for. I don’t know what to do with my life, traditionally speaking. I’m never going to have a business managerial position, or ever work behind a conventional desk in a 9-5 corporate job. Truth be told I felt like I had failed, and was a failure for not seeking those paths that lead to conventional security. After leaving, I worked in cafés and made delicious coffee and met some really great people. “Life experience”, I thought, “This is great”. But I started feeling unsettled again.
I started climbing during my year in university; it was the only stable routine in my life then. I would go to my local centre two or three times a week, and talk to people only about climbing, nothing else. Eventually climbing was all I wanted to do, and suddenly I was unhappy working as a barista because I would have to work some weekends, time that could be spent out on the rocks. I knew I needed a change, something that could somehow fit around my climbing. Then I met Josh.
It started with a hello during my session at the wall. I was taken aback at the time because in my eyes, he was this crazy strong climber in a group of other crazy strong climbers. I practically ran away from him as I had been climbing only two years at that point, still a newbie really, and this group of climbers was seen as a hulking mass of finger strength that I had no way of integrating with. But we started talking more, finding out we had mutual friends at the wall, bridging that gap between us, until I eventually invited him out for drinks with my friends. Things took off after that.
It turns out, this friendly guy who seemingly at random turned around to say hello to me, was also a PhD Theoretical Physicist (I’d just like to take this moment to point out how amazing climbing is, because you could be discussing a route with someone, without ever knowing what they do, which can be crazy things). He was in his last year and was almost ready to write up his thesis. I was intimidated. How could a guy like him, who absolutely loves research and appreciated academia, be interested in someone like me, who dropped out after my first year? I asked him this and he responded saying that we had much more in common (we do) than our education backgrounds suggested. We are actually very alike in many ways. He taught me not to be intimidated by what someone does, even if it is super impressive, and I love him for that.
Where am I now? Career wise, I have no idea. I recently got into blogging, after spending most of my life writing in my journal, and it’s made me realise that I really enjoy writing about anything that’s going on in my head. And now I am living in Germany, moving country once again, with my boyfriend; adjusting and trying to assimilate into the German culture. It helps to have climbing, that is understandable in every language. In the foreseeable future it looks like I will be traveling around with Josh every few years as he bags himself more and more postdocs. So in the meantime, I am loving my time as a climber, writer and “housewife” (for lack of a better word).